


Quackity's heart stopped the day that Schlatts did

by ReadingorWriting_Whoknows



Series: Quackity's heart [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alexis | Quackity Deserves Better, Alexis | Quackity Needs a Hug, Alexis | Quackity-centric, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Quackity, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multi, My First Fanfic, Pining, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Quackity remembers Schlatts death, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has a Bad Time, Vice President TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), back from the dead, top jschlatt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:28:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 8,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28087755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReadingorWriting_Whoknows/pseuds/ReadingorWriting_Whoknows
Summary: He cautiously raises a hand to his chest, the thin fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt.Ah, yes.His heart still beats.Slow, steady.The soft rhythm is both oddly soothing and horridly taunting.Other than that it is quiet.For his is the only heart that beats in this house nowadays.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Jschlatt, Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Series: Quackity's heart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105406
Comments: 136
Kudos: 722





	1. "I'll never leave you again"

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so sorry if its not very good-  
> I wrote the first idea/chapter of this at 3am and was then encouraged by my friends to make it a fanfic so... here we are  
> If you're seeing this, I love and appreciate you  
> Now-  
> Time for Quackity angst  
> Who's with me?

Quackity’s heart stopped the day that Schlatts did.   
He remembered _time slowing down as the former president cut off in the middle of his sentence, hand that wasn’t clutching the bottle reaching up to twist into the fabric above his heart._

He remembered _Schlatt’s wide eyes as his legs gave way,_ he remembered _dropping his items and rushing forwards to catch him before he hit the floor._   
He closed his eyes to images of _Schlatt’s face, gazing up at him full of terror as his chest heaved and he coughed. The red permanently stained into his memory and his clothes._   
He remembered _looking up, staring around at everyone else in the room, pleading for someone to do something._

It wasn’t meant to go like this.

He shivered as the ghost memory of _Schlatts trembling hand slowly brushed once more on his cheek as he melted into the touch. The thumb brushing gently under his eye as a small smile spread on the features of the man laying in his arms. Quackity’s own hand reaching up to gently grip Schlatt’s_ _  
_ His ears echoed Schlatt’s last words over and over like a haunting melody   
_“You came back” He whispered_ , to which Quackity can only remember nodding and replying softly   
_“Of course I did. I’ll never leave you again”_

And he remembers _Schlatts expression clearing, his eyes that had a moment before been full of hope- blank, empty_ . He remembers _Schlatt’s hand going limp in his as his body relaxes in Quackity’s arms._ _  
_ And he remembers _screams_. 

He remembers _people exclaiming in joy at the death of the tyrant, only for their noise to be drowned out by screams of grief. Someone was mourning. He realised it was him. The unearthly screams had come from his mouth.  
_ He vaguely remembers _clinging to the body, being forced to let go. Held back by two, no, three people._

And then his eyes open again.  
His hands are resting on the windowsill as the rain batters against the window outside.   
His ears are blessed only by the soft sound of the rain hitting against the houses.

It’s cold.

He cautiously raises a hand to his chest, the thin fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt.

Ah, yes.

His heart still beats.

Slow, steady.

The soft rhythm is both oddly soothing and horridly taunting.

Other than that it is quiet.

For this is the only heart that beats in this house nowadays.


	2. The graveyard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quackity takes a late night/early morning stroll in the rain  
> Tubbo finds him a few hours later

Quackity walked slowly down the path outside. The rain falling gently from the sky, still managing to soak him almost to the bone. Maybe he should have covered up more. 

His eyes trained on his destination, gaze empty as the black cross slowly faded into view through the heavy mist that covered L’manburg at this early hour. It loomed ever closer as he neared the graveyard. 

He stood silently below it, gaze trained up at the top of the cross as a hand raised to shield his eyes from the rain. Slowly, he allowed his eyes to trail down until they settled on the name carved near the bottom. 

_‘JSchlatt_

_former dictator of **L** ’manburg’ _

A soft smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes crosses his face as he remembered the extra care Tubbo and Tommy had used to double carve the ‘L’ into the country's name. 

But the moment quickly passed, and his face settled back into the mask of blankness that had guarded him since the end of the war. 

As he stood there, getting drenched completely by the rain, a faint warmth began to flood through his body. He closed his eyes at the strange familiarity of it and shivered slightly. He could almost feel his lovers' gaze burning once more through the back of his skull, almost hearing the faint whispers of his voice through the rain. He leaned slightly to the side, chasing the feeling. 

And then it stopped. The whispers faded into silence as the cold slowly soaked back into his skin.   
He shivered again, wrapping his arms around himself.

He should go indoors.

Tubbo found him a few hours later, curled at the base of the cross, still soaked and shivering.   
The new President had carefully shaken him awake with a soft smile that was laced with sympathy.

Quackity hated it.

He didn’t need sympathy. 

But he let the boy help him up, accepting his help as they walked slowly back to the old whitehouse.   
He listened as Tubbo talked about L’manburg, memories from Manburg, and other happy things, accepting the hot chocolate that was passed his way with a quiet thank you. 

The sun eventually rose high enough that the others began to get up, giving Tubbo his que to leave the house and become the president of his country again.

Quackity pulled Tubbo into a silent hug as the President went to leave, causing the smaller boy to pause slightly, before hugging him back with another soft smile. 

And then Quackity was alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy pls leave a comment!  
> They really make my day  
> Sorry the chapters are so short-


	3. Memories are treacherous things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will most likely vary a lot in length so sorry about that.  
> I will try and make them longer but there will be quite a few like last chapter so sorry about that

He sat slowly back down on the sofa, staring at the still half full cup of hot chocolate, allowing a small smile to cross his face again.

It was nice to have that reminder that there was still someone out there who cared.

Who didn’t just see him as ‘JSchlatt’s vice who betrayed him’.

Sure, Tommy laughed and joked and ‘accepted’ him. But it was all a means to an end right?  
He had approached Q just after he had fought with Schlatt, when he was at his most vulnerable.  
His entire involvement in Pogtopia was just to get a one over on Schlatt, that became evident in the camarvan.

But Tubbo… Tubbo knew him. Properly knew him. And he had known Schlatt too.  
Before the obsession with alcohol.  
Before… before Schlatt wasn’t Schlatt anymore.  
Just an empty shell of the man Quackity had known.  
He draws his legs up into his chest as he feels memories tug at his mind again. 

_Schlatt grinned at him and raised the glass towards him, it was filled halfway, white wine, a small treat to celebrate their victory. Quackity grinned back and raised his glass to meet Schlatt's, the soft clink echoing around the room._

_“To our victory, to Manburg, to us” Schlatt raised his glass to his lips and took a small sip._

_“To us” Quackity echoed, sipping slightly from his own glass. Schlatt smirked softly at him as Quackity wrinkled his nose slightly at the taste and set his glass down on the table_

_“Not a drinker?” He questioned. Quackity shook his head and Schlatt chuckled, taking another sip from his glass before setting it down beside Quackity’s. “I’m not a very big drinker. I prefer to stay sober. But there's times like this when you just need to celebrate and reward yourself”_

_Quackity chuckled softly_

_“Yeah. But drinking isn’t the only way to celebrate” Schlatt’s eyebrows raised and his eyes flickered over Quackity once, lingering slightly on his face_

_“Oh really? Care to share your other ideas?~” His voice lowered to a soft purr that made Quackity flush slightly, avoiding his presidents gaze_

_“I- i don’t think we’re thinking of the same thing-” He stutters softly, before his breath is taken away from him in the form of Schlatt’s hand reaching over to rest gently on his vice’s knee._

_“Maybe not- But i’m willing to bet we are now~” his voice remains a soft purr that makes Quackity’s head spin as Schlatt’s hand slowly inched its way up his thigh_

_“S-Schlatt I-” He stutters, staring over at the President with wide eyes, the President who leans in closer, sliding the hand that wasn’t around his thigh up his arm._

_“Yes Quackity?” He asks, close enough for his hot breath to hit Quackity’s face softly, making the Vice shiver and gaze up at Schlatt._

_He can’t stop his eyes from flickering down to Schlatts lips. Watching as they twitch up into a smile as Schlatt registers what has happened._

_“Do you want to kiss me Quackity?”_

_His voice is quiet, no longer the purr but somehow it makes Quackity sink into the sofa even more as he flushes, eyes flickering away from Schlatt embarrassed. Schlatt simply chuckles_

_“Don’t be like that- Look at me Quackity''_

_The last sentence is an order, Schlatt’s hand snaking under Quackity’s chin and making him face him. Quackity’s breathing quickens as he stares at Schlatt, who is now only inches away from him._

_“Well?” Schlatt questions again, eyebrow raising smugly._

_Quackity’s breath hitches and his eyes flicker around Schlatts face, his arms snaking upwards to wrap around Schlatts neck as he closes the distance between them._

_Schlatt’s eyes widen, not expecting that, before he slowly kisses back, quickly taking control of the situation again as he claims Quackity’s mouth._

  
Quackity’s eyes shoot open, his breathing laboured. He is slumped on the sofa, in the exact same position from the memory. Only Schlatt isn’t there.

And Schlatt would never be there again.

Quackity curls up on the sofa and sobs


	4. "You need to eat"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quackity is doing worse than Tubbo thought  
> But Tubbo won't stop until he's better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter: Refusal to eat

The next few weeks crawled by agonisingly slowly. 

Quackity spent almost all of it indoors, curled on the sofa or under the covers.

He spent this time both fearing and yearning for the memories.

Yearning for the happiness and the warmth that came with them.

Fearing the random flashes of pain instead of joy, and the darkness and the cold that set in after they were gone.

Tubbo checked in one him every other day, growing increasingly worried.   
Quackity could tell he was getting worse based only on Tubbo’s reactions when he opened the door, the way the boy’s eyes widened with worry.

Quackity knew he looked bad.   
Maybe as bad as he felt but he doubted it could get that bad.

His already baggy hoodie hung off his thing frame like a blanket.   
His hair fell into his eyes and the bags under them multiplied and got darker by the day.  
  
Today Tubbo came round with food. He walked through the unlocked door and put the meat on the table.  
“Quackity?” He called, shutting the door behind him and looking around. They called out Quackity’s name again and heard a faint response from upstairs.

He walked up and hesitantly pushed open the door, almost afraid of what they would find.  
  


Quackity’s small form was curled under the covers.  
And the room, in comparison to the rest of the house, was brightly lit.   
There was a lamp in each corner of the room along with the main lights, and all of them were on.

Tubbo carefully crossed to the bed and gently pulled back the covers.

“Jeez- Big Q-” They muttered as the frail form of their friend shivered.  
He carefully dressed Q, averting his eyes when necessary, before gently helping him down the stairs.

~~~~ ~~~~

Quackity sat silently at the table as Tubbo made food.   
When the meal was placed in front of him he looked down at it, but otherwise didn't move.

Tubbo sighed and sat down opposite him.

“Quackity you need to eat.”

“I’m not hungry”

“I don’t care. Eat.”

Quackity blinked at Tubbo before hesitantly scooping up some food on his fork and slowly raising it to his mouth.

It tasted like cardboard.   
It made Quackity want to throw up.

He set the fork back down on the plate and quickly reached for a tissue, spitting the small piece that had gone into his mouth out.  
Tubbo frowned at him and Quackity curled in on himself, ashamed.

“Sorry-” He muttered quietly, to which Tubbo just sighed.

“Please Q. Just keep trying” His voice was quiet and soft, full of worry and care. And so Quackity nodded. He slowly lifted the fork again.

Tubbo watched as this happened 5 more times until Quackity finally actually managed to swallow a piece.

~~~~

Similar things happened the rest of the week. Whenever Tubbo was free, he would go round to the old whitehouse with food and help convince Quackity to eat.

~~~~

And a few weeks later Quackity had finally eaten a full meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal is to update once every day but my motivation for writing comes and goes at the most random times so sorry if i fall of schedule at some points-  
> Hope you enjoy!


	5. "Big T are you okay?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You would've expected things to start to look up
> 
> But the memories didn't fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter: Alcohol abuse, inferred physical abuse

You would've expected things to start to look up. 

Tubbo did. 

Quackity had hope that it would. 

But the memories didn't fade. 

They plagued Quackity every waking hour and taunted him when he was asleep. Everywhere he went held memories. 

The kitchen counter?  
 _Schlatt cooked with a smile on his face_ .  
 _Quackity seated on the counter as they kissed passionately_ .  
 _An almost empty bottle being smashed against it, sending glass and drops of alcohol flying_.

The stairs?  
 _Schlatt carrying an almost asleep Quackity up them carefully_ .  
 _Quackity running up them as fast as he could manage, heart beating quickly in his chest._

The entrance hallway?  
 _Being pinned to the wall as Schlatt lent in_ .  
 _And then again, but with more force, the faint stench of alcohol tinting the air._

Two weeks after Quackity started eating properly again, Tubbo realised that his friend was nowhere near healed yet. 

How did they come to this realisation you may ask?

Well it was simply a matter of taking everything into perspective.

It all came crashing together when Tubbo popped in for his daily visit to find a very uncomfortably familiar scene. 

“Big Q?” Tubbo knocked and opened the door as a faint acknowledgement was heard.

As he walked further in he felt a sudden wave of deja vu, but he couldn't quite place what it was from. 

Until he saw Quackity. 

He was sat down, relaxed on the sofa. 

At first this sight made Tubbo smile, but then their eyes drifted over the objects in the room. 

The half empty bottle sat on the table and the glass swirling slowly in Quackity's hand.

And then the smell hit his nose. 

The familiarity of it had memories swimming across Tubbo's vision as it blurred and he fought the feeling of nausea. 

"Oh hey Tubbo!" Quackity exclaimed, a slightly dazed smile crossing his face. "How are you?" 

Tubbo rested one hand carefully on the wall as he took slow breaths in before covering his mouth and nose with his sleeve to try and block out the triggering smell as much as he could 

"Quackity-" They say quietly, fear and disappointment flooding their voice and facial features. "Quackity what have you done-"

“What do you mean?” Quackity asks, frowning slightly. Tubbo crosses the room with his sleeve still covering his mouth and nose. He picks up the bottle and reads the label as Quackity takes another sip from his glass. 

Yes. He was right.

The smell was too familiar.  
Quackity was drinking Schlatts old favorite.

“Quackity- you-” The slight fear in the younger boy’s voice was enough to make Quackity pause. The Vice frowned and set the glass down on the table slightly unsteadily before looking back up at Tubbo

“Big T are you okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is late, i had a busy day today-


	6. "Get out"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo didnt mean to bring him up  
> It just-  
> Slipped out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Alcohol abuse

_Recap  
~~~~ _

_“Quackity- you-”_

_The slight fear in the younger boy’s voice was enough to make Quackity pause.  
The Vice frowned and set the glass down on the table slightly unsteadily before looking back up at Tubbo _

_“Big T are you okay?”_

~~~~ ~~~~  
  
Tubbo stared down at Quackity, hand almost dropping from his mouth at the ridiculous question that fell far too easily from the Vice’s mouth. 

“Okay?!? No Quackity. No, I am not okay. What the fuck is wrong with you!”

He didn’t mean to yell, but he did.   
And they immediately regretted it.   
Quackity’s eyes widened and he curled slightly in on himself, muttering quiet apologies. 

Tubbo sighed softly and carefully sat down next to Quackity, gently reaching for his shoulder and trying not to let the tears slip from their eyes as Quackity flinched away from their hand. 

“Quackity im sorry-” He said quietly “I didn’t mean to yell. That was wrong of me. But you can’t do this to yourself-”

Quackity looked down, letting a few tears slip from his eyes

“B-but Tubbo-”

Tubbo carefully reached over again, a soft smile crossing his face when Quackity didn’t move away

“Listen to me Quackity. This? This isn’t going to help you. You remember what it did to him?”

Quackity shivered slightly

“Of course i do-” He mutters quietly, and Tubbo internally curses himself. That was a bad thing to bring up Tubbo- 

“Sorry- I shouldn't have bought it up-” 

“No. You shouldn’t have.”

Quackity’s voice is cold and Tubbo withdraws their hand slightly.   
Quackity stands up and grabs the glass and the bottle off the table, moving over to the stairs.

“Get out”

“But-”

“I said get out!”

The door shuts quietly behind Tubbo, and Quackity collapses on the stairs.   
Tears stream down his face as the glass is set down on one step and the bottle remains clutched in his hand.   
He swears as memories begin flashing across his vision again.

The bad ones.

The memories flashed across his vision quicker as he grasped the bottle tighter.   
Ignoring the glass that had fallen on its side, spilling the liquor inside, he struggled up the stairs, raising the bottle to his lips instead.  
He shook his head as he gulped the liquid down, stumbling across the hall to his room.

_Come on you stupid drug.  
Work. _

But where it had bought him peace only a few minutes ago, the alcohol seemed now to simply make the visions worse.

He collapsed on his bed, placing the bottle weakly on his bedside table before curling up and closing his eyes, bringing his hands up to his ears to try and block out the whispers.   
  
And then his mind blanked into memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this-  
> But it might just get a whole lot darker from here onwards-


	7. "Schlatt- please-"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a good memory  
> ...  
> it was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Alcohol Abuse
> 
> I'm so sorry

_Recap  
_ ~~~~

He collapsed on his bed, placing the bottle weakly on his bedside table before curling up and closing his eyes, bringing his hands up to his ears to try and block out the whispers.   
  
And then his mind blanked into memories.

~~~~ ~~~~

_They walked through the front door tiredly. It had been a long day._

_Schlatt tugged off his suit and hung it on the coat stand, running his hand through his hair as he turned to look at Quackity._ _  
__Quackity tugged his tie slightly looser and sighed softly, turning to look at Schlatt.  
_ _Their eyes met and locked onto each other, and before either of them registered what was happening Quackity was backed up against the wall with Schlatt’s lips on his, their arms wrapped around each other._

 _Schlatt bit down slightly on Quackity’s bottom lip, causing the smaller male to gasp, allowing Schlatt to move his tongue into his mouth. Quackity let out a soft moan as Schlatts hands gripped his waist before sliding upwards under the Vice’s untucked shirt, drawing another gasp from him._ _  
__Schlatt chuckled softly as he broke the kiss and gazed down at Quackity._

 _“Are you sure you want to do this?”  
He whispered into Quackity’s ear, a grin spreading across his face as his Vice nodded quickly, leaning in for another kiss. _ _  
__Schlatt snaked his hands round Quackity’s waist, hoisting him up and chuckling at the soft squeak that escaped his lips. He captured those lips in another kiss as he pinned Quackity against the wall again.  
  
  
_ And then the memory blurred.   
  
  
_They were in the same spot of the house, in almost exactly the same position, only Quackity’s legs were still on the floor._

_Schlatts mouth was on his, Quackity’s eyes wide from sudden rough movements only moments before that got them into this position. His eyes fluttered shut slightly as he hesitantly kissed back. He tasted the sweet liquor on Schlatt’s lips and immediately broke the kiss by moving his head to the side. The Ram hybrid simply kissed his cheek and led a trail of kisses along his jaw to his throat._

_“Schlatt-”  
Quackity’s voice was slightly hoarse and raspy from talking so much   
“Stop it- Not when you’re like this-” _ _  
__The president ignored him and simply bit down over a sensitive spot on Quackity’s neck, drawing a soft moan from the smaller male who placed his hands gently on his chest. Schlatt let out an annoyed huff as he was pushed away._

 _“Quackity..~”  
His voice slurred slightly as Quackity winced softly, rubbing his neck. _ _  
_

_“Schlatt I said not when you’re like this. Maybe later, if you’ve sobered up.”_

_Schlatt’s eyes narrowed as he placed the bottle that was in his hand behind him on one of the counters, turning back to Quackity who was fiddling with his tie.  
He grabbed Quackity again and pinned him back against the wall, arm over Quackity’s throat as the Vice sucked in a sharp breath and lifted his hands to grab onto Schlatt’s arm. _

_“Schlatt-”  
The ram hybrid once again ignored the Vice’s complaints and pressed closer to him, the hand not connected to the arm pinning Quackity to the wall slowly running down his sides towards his hips.   
Schlatt scoffed slightly and muttered into Quackity’s ear as the smaller male squirmed, eyes wide in slight fear. _

_“Flatty Patty~”  
The President laughed cruelly as Quackity shivered and turned his head to the side.   
Schlatts arm was removed from his neck only for it to be replaced by his mouth, sucking and biting as his hands moved down to grip Quackity’s waist slightly._ _  
_

_“Schlatt- please-”  
The Vice muttered quietly   
“Don’t do this-”_ _  
_ _But Schlatt only laughed, and continued._

Quackity sat up gasping, drenched in cold sweat as he shivered under the covers.

He curled into himself and cried.

His breathing slowly evened out after a few hours, only for the memories of Tubbo to rush back to him, the hurt and fear in the boy’s voice, the way he had looked so broken when Quackity yelled at him to leave.

_Shit. What have I done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You don't know how much it killed me to write this  
> im so sorry


	8. Fluff cause we need fluff and otherwise my friend was gonna yell at me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what the title says
> 
> Tubbo goes home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long story short this was gonna be more angst but then it developed into fluff  
> Also my friend follows this and was complaining about the 'overdose' of angst so...
> 
> Important notice cause i've seen people attacking people for apparently 'shipping' these two when its clearly just a close friendship-  
> I in no way ship Tommy and Tubbo  
> Tubbo has expressed wishes not to be shipped and i respect their wishes  
> This is simply a close friendship
> 
> Sorry that its such a short chapter
> 
> TW: Mentions alcohol, inferred/referenced past abuse (Yes this is a fluff chapter i swear-)

Tubbo stood outside the whitehouse for five minutes before heading away towards their house.    
They walked slowly down the prime path before spotting the familiar building in the distance. He opened the door and walked in, fully intent on going straight to the living room and slumping on the sofa. 

Instead their vision was suddenly filled with a blur of red and white as their best friend attacked him with a hug.

  
“Tubbo!!” He stumbled as his face split into a wide grin and he hugged back.

“Heya Tommy” He replied tiredly. The taller boy grinned and released the hug, grabbing Tubbos bag and hanging it on the coat stand as his grin softened slightly.

“How’s Q?” Tubbo simply sighed and slumped forwards slightly as an answer. “Bad again huh-” Worry filled the younger’s voice as he followed Tubbo to the living room. The president nodded tiredly and sat down on the sofa, smiling softly as Tommy sat down beside them and wrapped an arm round his shoulders again.

“Tommy-” His voice was quiet “Tommy he found Schlatt’s bottles…” He glanced up as his friend's eyes widened.

“He didn’t… drink-” Tubbo just closed their eyes and nodded. “Shit. Tubbo he didn’t hurt you did he?” The worry was evident in Tommy’s voice as he examined his friend who shook his head quickly.

“He’s still Quackity, Tommy. He hasn’t gone yet. I’m almost certain he only did it today…” Tubbo trailed off and leant slightly more into his friends half hug. Tommy nodded slowly and hugged him comfortingly. 

“Tommy…” He started again, “Tommy I bought up Schlatt… He yelled at me to leave.” Their voice was even quieter and Tommy sighed softly, bringing one hand up to gently comb it through his friend's hair.

“I’m sure you didn’t mean to Big T.” He smiled down at them gently “Sometimes we say things without thinking” Tubbo nodded slightly before chuckling softly

“What do you mean sometimes?” He exclaimed “I’m pretty sure you always speak without thinking” He teased, grinning when Tommys face split into an offended gasp and he withdrew his hand to press it dramatically over his heart.

“Tubbo- how could you-” Tubbo laughed and picked up a pillow to hit him with it

“Get over it drama queen” He grinned before standing up and backing away, still clutching his pillow, as Tommy grabbed one and stood, mischievous glint in his eyes 

“Oh you asked for it mister-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew-  
> Sorry for the two day break i had this writtern down on paper but my mind wasn't working to type it up-  
> Anyways-  
> This is the end of my pre written chapters so from now on the time between chapter releases will either be every other day or if i have a random blank a few more days  
> Sorry about that  
> We are nearing the end tho-  
> ...  
> I think


	9. Maybe it would be better for everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for vanishing. Happy New Year!
> 
> Quackity leaves the house
> 
> Tw // Su!c!d3 thoughts, Su!c!d3 attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'I had strings, but now I'm free...'

Quackity stumbled down the prime path, eyes blinking blearily at his surroundings. God it had been so long since he’d been outside. He staggered to a halt and let out a long sigh as the cool breeze hit his face and ran through his hair. He glanced around. It was a lot quieter than he remembered, and dark, was it supposed to be this empty?

A far away zombie groan found his ears and he nodded slowly to himself. Ah. Right. It was night time. He straightened up as much as he could and continued moving down the path. He didn’t know where he was going, or if he was particularly going anywhere.    


He just woke up and had to get out of the house. He’d scrambled so quickly out of the sheets one might have thought it was a bed of snakes instead of silk. His hands had fumbled with the light switches, turning on every light in the house. 

Schlatt would have hated that.    


So the fear still present in the back of his mind from the nightmare sends him back around the house, switching all the lights off again before he grabbed at the bottle still on his nightstand and fled the house.   


That was how he got here, drunk half out of his mind with both fear and alcohol, staggering around L’Manburg with no plan other than to avoid the whitehouse. Both, Whitehouse's. The small bit of his brain still sober convinced him that he should avoid Tubbo at all costs while in this state.

Eventually he found himself staggering up the side of El Rapids.   
He nearly fell and rolled down 5 times before finally climbing successfully to the top. He staggered to lean against the wall of the house that was there, before staring up at it in confusion.   
Last time he had been up here there had only been a half-arsed cobblestone structure, so he blinked in surprise and slight admiration at the wood house that now stood there. He admired it for a moment longer before moving round the house, leaning on the walls for support. 

He stumbled to the edge of the mountain and gazed down at L’Manburg. The country glowed slightly, the view was beautiful from up here. It looked pretty, and peaceful. He swayed slightly as he stood there, gazing down at the peaceful, glowing and small country. 

And his mind wandered as he took a slow step closer to the edge. His eyes flickered to his wrist where the three blue hearts stood out against his pale skin signifying his three lives. Two were scared and faded, having been used up because of stupid mistakes. One left. He stared at the life for a few more minutes, before allowing his gaze to fall back on L’Manburg glimmering below him.

No one would miss him.   
Maybe Tubbo would cry but he would get over it quickly, Quackity was sure.   
Tommy would maybe shed a few scarce tears but like everything the boy did it would probably just be for show.   
Dream wouldn’t give a shit. Then again, when did Dream ever give a shit about anything outside of himself and maybe the Dreamteam.   
George would move on with life as normal. He hadn’t spoken to Quackity in months now anyway.   
Sapnap might even be glad he was gone. No more stupid Quackity constantly flirting, teasingly or not, with his fiance. Karl…   
Karl- Quackity turned his thoughts away from the purple clad boy with a simple, ‘He’d get over it’.

Maybe it would be better for everyone, maybe it would be for the best. He wasn’t any use to the server anymore. No longer Schlatt’s puppet that broke its strings only to be strung straight back up by someone else. He let out a bitter chuckle.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in.

Falling through the air wouldn’t be that bad, he’d done stuff like that before. Granted, all those times there was water at the bottom of wherever he had jumped, securing his safety. 

Bracing himself for the inevitable impact this time would be the hard bit, the bit he would struggle with. Admittedly it wouldn’t be a problem for long. 

Oh how he wished there was a way you could just fall and fall. 

Fall and continue falling. 

No hard impact on the ground, no looming doom just, falling. 

Peacefully. 

The wind rushing past you. 

He slowly let his breath out and took one step closer, leaning precariously over the edge now. 

There was a faint noise behind him, probably just a stray mob. 

He felt himself relax slightly, sighing as a soft breeze swept over El Rapids, his country that had grown without him, his gaze fixed on L’Manburg, the country he had once tried to rule.

And then he let himself fall forwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'There are no strings on me'


	10. Why wont they let me be free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay-  
> So maybe the soft noise behind him wasn’t a stray mob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Sometimes, the best way to help someone-'

_ There was a faint noise behind him, probably just a stray mob.  _

_ He felt himself relax slightly, sighing as a soft breeze swept over El Rapids, his country that had grown without him, his gaze fixed on L’Manburg, the country he had once tried to rule. _

_ And then he let himself fall forwards. _

_ ~~~ _

Strong arms were suddenly wrapped around his chest and waist and he was dragged away from the edge as an alarmed yell registered in his brain. The person holding him was strong, resisting his feeble attempts to struggle out of their grasp. 

Another figure ran up behind them

Quackity heard an alarmed and entirely muffled conversation pass between the two, the words slipping through his head without registering. His mind that was only full of thoughts of getting back to the edge, finally being free of the strings that kept clutching back onto him no matter how many times he tried to get rid of them.

The person who had their arms wrapped around him sat down, successfully making it even harder for him to escape as he was pulled down with them.  
A hand waved slowly across his vision but he could care less, keeping his mind and eyes glued to the edge.  
The edge of the mountain that overlooked the glowing city.  
The glowing city that he had once belonged to but not anymore, no not anymore, never again.  
Sat on the mountain that he built, the country that he made and brought into being, that he was supposed to lead.  
The country that he had failed because he had let himself fall and become this… mess of a human being.

He vaguely registered the now empty bottle that had been clutched tightly in his hand being pried out of his grasp.  
Who were these people, why were they stopping him.  
It didn’t make sense.  
He didn’t belong here, he didn’t belong down there, hell, he didn’t belong anywhere in the SMP. 

And then the arms that were wrapped around him to restrain him relaxed.

Quackity stilled, confused as to why the person had relaxed but still wasn’t letting go.

Finally it registered in his brain that the person was now giving him a hug.

Why would they hug him?

It didn’t make sense.

He was useless.  
He was broken.  
He was weak.  
No one cared.  
No one had ever cared.  
He was just a problem.  
He didn’t deserve to be held in such a gentle and caring way.

He just wanted to get to the edge again…

But something about the gentle and caring way the arms were now wrapped around him made his brain still.

And then Quackity melted.

He felt the built up dam in his brain split and the tears well up in his eyes as he began to shake softly, before that quickly transferred into huge sobs as he curled into the person's arms.  
A second pair quickly wrapped around him as well as he broke down in the embrace.  
He was engulfed in warmth and care as soft whispered words finally began to break through into Quackity’s mind.  
His whole body shook as he sobbed, curling closer into the embrace of the two.

There was still a quiet voice in his head that told him he didn’t deserve this, that he was stupid for thinking they actually cared.  
That they were just doing it out of pity.  
Pity for the stranger that he had let himself become.

But the arms tightened around him and the small whispered words flowed into his mind, chasing the negative thoughts to the back.

Maybe they did care for him.  
Maybe they would have cared if he had jumped.  
If he had wasted his final life simply for the feeling of free falling.

His eyes teared up again and his sobs shook his body more painfully.  
Instead of getting bored or telling him to stop, the two people simply wrapped their arms tighter around him and continued to whisper their soft words of comfort.  
One of them slowly began to run their hand through his hair.

Finally he allowed himself to relax, his eyes flickering shut against the painful world as he allowed himself to simply sink into and be completely engulfed by the hug.   
Slowly his sobs evened out into small breaths, his eyes flickering shut as his trembling body slowly relaxed.  
And he faded into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> '- Is just to be near them'


	11. Quackity. What was he doing here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright fine you can know who the people are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'It's going to be okay in the end'

_ He stepped out of the door and looked around. _ He was sure he had heard something.   
Calling out quietly, he waited but didn’t hear a response.   
As he was about to turn back into the house he heard quiet muttering and froze, listening, before quickly moving round the side of the house.   
His eyes were immediately drawn to the person standing precariously close to the edge of El Rapids where the cliff dropped over L’Manburg.   
Stepping closer cautiously he recognised the figure as Quackity.   
Quackity.   
What was he doing here? 

He hadn’t bothered to come back since they stated El Rapids as a country-   
But his thoughts were drowned out by the soft muttering coming from the man, and a flash of worry as he spotted how he was swaying.

He saw Quackity tilt forwards and ran, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy and dragging him away from the edge.   
He ignored his struggles to get back to the edge and yelled back towards the house, another figure quickly appearing and hurrying towards them.   


“What happened? Is he okay?” Karls voice was filled with worry as he took in the scene before him. 

Sapnap gritted his teeth as he continued to wrestle Quackity, who was still trying to get back to the edge.

“He was gonna jump” He informed his fiance, Karls small heartbreaking gasp filling his ears as he sat down, dragging Quackity with him to make it harder for the smaller boy to get away.   
Karl rushed forwards to them to check on Quackity.   
Now that they could both see him properly it was clear he was in a bad state.   
He was so much thinner than when they had seen him last, his clothing hanging off his small frame.   
He had large and dark eyebags and his eyes were slightly bloodshot. 

His eyes were also glazed to the point where Sapnap wondered whether he could even actually see them, fixed to the edge.   
Karl seemed to notice that too and waved a hand slowly in front of Quackity’s face, watching as Quackitys eyes flickered momentarily to suggest he had seen it, but the almost hauntingly empty eyes remained focused on the edge of El Rapids. 

Glancing worriedly at Sapnap, Karls eyes flickered down and widened, before he bent down and gently tugged an empty bottle from Quackity’s grip.    
“ _ He’s been drinking? _ ” Sapnap looked back at the former vice, shocked. He’d known the guy to enjoy a little bit of alcohol here and there before- but he’s never known the guy to drink to the point of being reduced to this state.

“..Worse” Came Karls quiet reply, forcing Sapnap’s gaze back up to him.   
He slowly turned to lock eyes with Sapnap, raising the bottle so the label was clear “ _ This is one of Schlatts _ … his own brew- this is what he was drinking when…”   
At the ex-presidents name Sapnap froze slightly, gazing back at the man who still struggled in his arms. Why would he be drinking that- that made no sense-    


“Quackity- what the fuck have you done to yourself-” He murmurs, letting his arms relaxes around him, transforming from restraining the man to hugging him gently.   


_ He felt Quackity still, confused, in his arms. _   
The man shifted slightly but didn’t move to get up.   
And then _his body began to tremble, tears slipping from his eyes._   
His body shook as he sobbed and curled into Sapnaps embrace. 

Karl crouched down and wrapped his arms around Quackity as well, whispering soft words into his ear as Quackity curled into their arms.   
After a moment he slowly _reached his hand up to run it gently through Quackity’s hair._

They stayed like this for what seemed like forever, whispering soft comforting words to the boy shivering and sobbing in their arms. 

Until finally Quackity’s sobs slowed down and faded away, his tense and shaking body slowly relaxing into their arms. 

They waited a few moments before confirming that he had fallen asleep, and looked up at each other.   
Communicating silently before Karl slowly released the hug and stood up, allowing Sapnap to hold Quackity closer and stand up with him carefully.   
Then they made their way slowly back inside. 

Deciding to put Quackity on the bed, the two couldn’t help the small smiles that ghosted their faces as  Quackity gripped Sapnaps arm with a soft frown when he tried to let go . So Sapnap sat on the bed with him as Quackity slept, Karl eventually falling asleep on the spare mattress they had put on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'If it's not okay, then it's not the end'


	12. "Maybe you should sit down"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quackity wakes up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun

_ When Quackity woke up the next day _ he groaned softly, bringing a hand up to his throbbing head.   
He slowly blinked his eyes open and sat up, staring around at the unfamiliar room.   
He winced as he got out of the bed, still clutching his head slightly as he looked around and then down at himself, relieved to see he was still in the same clothes as last night. 

Not that he could remember much about last night yet-   


He found the door of the room and stepped out into the hallway, looking around before slowly following his nose to where he presumed the kitchen was, based on the smell of bacon coming from it.   
He found the open archway that led to the kitchen and blinked softly at the sight before him. 

Sapnap stood by the cooker, and indeed there was bacon frying in the pan.   
Karl was sat at the table behind him with a soft smile as they had a gentle conversation about seemingly nothing. 

He stood silently in the archway for a few minutes before Karl’s gaze flickered to him and he smiled gently, worry mixing into his gaze as he gestured for Quackity to come in.  


“Good morning Quackity'' He said softly as Quackity stepped into the room.   
Sapnap waved and smiled softly, which Quackity frowned at.   


“Did you sleep well?” Karl continued as Sapnap lowered his gaze back to the pan. 

Quackity looked back at karl and rubbed the back of his neck   


“I- I think so-” He answered honestly “I can’t really remember-” He admitted quietly.

Sapnap and Karl exchanged a look that made Quackity’s stomach twist. _   
Oh God _ .   
He hoped he hadn’t done anything too embarrassing- or admitted something rash- or-    


Sapnap disrupted his chain of thoughts as he crossed the kitchen and tipped the now read bacon onto three plates that had been laid out on the table.   
Karl crossed to grab glasses and set them on the table, before grabbing a different cup that had been sitting on the kitchen counter.   
He walked over to Quackity and handed it to him. 

“For your headache” He stated simply, Quackity took it and nodded at him embarrassedly. 

He hadn’t meant for anyone to see him in that state- he should probably apologise- thank Karl for saying headache instead of specifying.    
  
“Thanks-” He mutters quietly, cradling the cup in his hand, turning his gaze back up to Karl “Sorry- I didn’t think i would leave the house-” He admits. 

This only causes another glance between Karl and Sapnap that make his stomach plummet.   
_ Just what was it that he had done to make them keep silently communicating in that way. _

“You should drink-” Karl once again avoids the subject and goes to sit back down at the table with Sapnap. 

Quackity sighs and sips the drink cautiously before downing it when it turned out it wasn’t too bad. He set the cup on the counter and looked back at the two seated at the table

“What happened last night? You guys have been exchanging looks since I came into the room.  _ What exactly did I do? _ ”   


Sapnap quietly set a plate at the spare seat at the table and looked back at Karl once more   


“... Maybe you should sit down”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love cliffhangers


	13. "I'm sorry I worried you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quackity comes back

_“... What happened last night? You guys have been exchanging looks since I came into the room. What exactly did I do? ”_

_Sapnap quietly set a plate at the spare seat at the table and looked back at Karl once more_

_“... Maybe you should sit down”_

~~~

Quackity cried again when they told him.

He buried his face in his hands as tears slipped out of his eyes and down his face.

He apologized, over and over again he apologized.

The two simply got up and walked over, wrapping him in hugs once again and gently reassuring him that it was all okay.  
That it was okay, they were glad he was safe and still with them, and that _they wouldn’t tell anyone if he didn’t want them to._ _  
_

Quackity nodded slowly, before wrapping his arms back around them both, quietly thanking Sapnap for his quick reaction to what was happening, for stopping him no matter the amount of small feuds they had had over the years.

To which Sapnap just answered with a soft nod and a sad smile, which led Quackity to hug him properly, as the smile and the look in his eyes suggested strongly that this wasn’t the first time he had had to stop someone.

They broke apart after a while, chuckling softly at each other for the soft tears now falling from each of their eyes, before sitting back at the table and actually eating breakfast.  
Quackity insisted on helping them clear up. 

The rest of the morning spent was the three of them sitting on the couch, cuddling into each other and watching movies, or playing games, or sharing stories.

Eventually they all got up and checked their inventories, gearing up to go outside. 

Sapnap and Karl walked beside Quackity as they slowly made their way down the hill of El Rapids, stepping off the grassy path onto the wooden one as they reached the Prime path, _L’Manburg_ .  
They walked together, smiling softly and talking as they got closer to the center of L’Manburg. 

Eventually they spotted two figures in the distance, recognizing them instantly.

The small figure clad in green turned and spotted them as well, reaching out to tap the arm of the much taller figure clad in red before they both walked forwards.  
As they got close enough to properly recognize each other the two boys sped up into a sprint as Karl and Sapnap waved. 

“Quackity!”  
Came Tubbos' call as him and Tommy reached them, looks of relief clear on the two teen’s faces.  
“Oh my god i'm so glad you’re okay- I went back to your house this morning to check on you after last night and all the lights were off and you weren’t there and I-”

The 17 year old's ramble was cut off by Quackity gently wrapping him in a hug.  
Tubbo blinked a few times before hugging him back tightly 

“I’m sorry I worried you.” Quackity said, to both Tubbo and Tommy “I for some reason decided to go see Sap and Karl after… that- and ended up staying the night. I should have left a note in case. Sorry”

Tubbo just smiles softly

“It's okay. I’m just glad you’re okay- you really worried me yesterday-” Quackity nods 

“I worried Sap and Karl too-”  
He chuckles slightly bitterly before softening again  
“But they managed to get me to go to sleep, and then helped me through the morning” 

Tubbo released the hug and looked up at Quackity, before going over to the other two and hugging them as well.

Tommy looked Quackity down once, as if double or even triple checking that he was okay and there, before unexpectedly wrapping him in a tight hug.  
Quackity blinked a few times. 

“Glad you’re okay Big Man” Tommy said.

And he sounded so genuine, with a small hint of worry still in his voice, that Quackity almost started crying again as he just nodded slightly and hugged Tommy tightly.

After more hugs, _so many hugs_ , and _‘thank you’s’_ and _‘sorry’s’_ were exchanged they all decided to go and hang out somewhere. 

By the end of the day, a little bit of life had returned to Quackity’s eyes, and he was smiling softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is where it starts to become evident that despite my love for angst I'm a sucker for a happy ending
> 
> Also we're really near the end now  
> Thank you so much to everyone who has been on this journey with me and to all those who have left kudos and comments, you guys make my day and have inspired me  
> So this may be my first fanfic but i have a strong feeling that it will not be my last  
> Love you all <3


	14. Over the course of the next year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to get better
> 
> A summary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 14 chapters down
> 
> 1 to go

_Over the course of the next year:_

Quackity finally made the decision to move to El Rapids.

The old Whitehouse was cleared out of all his stuff, but not even Quackity or Tubbo had the heart to tear it down.

So now it simply stands there as a memory and monument to the _temporary reign of ‘Manburg’._ _  
_

Sap and Karl offered their spare room to Quackity till he had a house, knowing how long it took him to build things.

Over time this changed to Quackity staying in their room with them, before he eventually just gave up on his house and moved in with his two now _fiancés._

His half built house was given to George who somehow, despite having like three houses already in different places in the SMP, managed to finish and partially move in.

Karl, Sapnap and Quackity are scheduled to be married in a few months.

Tubbo and Tommy worked together to secure L’Manburg as a country again and it thrived.

Dream and Fundy’s wedding… _was a disaster-_

But Fundy now lives happily as the prince of the server with his new adoptive father King Eret. 

And Dream finally moved in with George, no longer able to be teased for not having a house.

Techno and Philza are welcomed guests in L’Manburg, past grudges aside.

And for once Techno, albeit begrudgingly, approved of the equal system L’Manburg had set up.

Ghostbur still gives out blue, and hangs around with friend, avoiding the rain.

_Though he has been seen occasionally chatting to thin air as though there was someone there._

Ranboo and Niki run the bakery together, Niki helping Ranboo keep track of all his things.

Purpled has declared that anyone else that calls his spaceship a flying ball sack will never speak to him again.

Sam builds, and vibes.

Connor…. Is alive

Punz has pranked Sapnap too many times to count

Jack has either helped him, or also been on the receiving end.

Bad, Skeppy and the Badlands had a weird period a few months ago where no one really knows what happened, and _Skeppy now has one eye that is purpl_ _e_.

But it all seems to have disappeared now and Sapnaps parents seem both happy about his choice of partners.

Bad bakes them special muffins and Skeppy pranks them with Punz.

Everyone has very strange ways of showing their love, but you know what?

It works.

There will always be something going on in the SMP lands.

But right now?

They’re all happy.

And that's what matters.

_..._

_Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll are gonna hate me for the next chapter


	15. But is it over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I said ya'll were gonna hate me and I meant it
> 
> Ya'll are gonna hate me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But right now?
> 
> They're all happy.
> 
> And thats what matters
> 
> ...
> 
> Right?

As I previously said, the Whitehouse had been cleared of all Quackity’s stuff. 

The only thing occupying it now was the thin layer of dust and Schlatt’s stuff that Quackity and Tubbo had refused to touch and no one else had wanted to.

And then one day Tubbo noticed something was off. 

Just last night he had passed the building, and it was as empty a shell as it had been since the day Quackity left.    


But as the now 18 year old frowned and walked closer, he noticed what was off. 

The thin layer of dust outside had been disturbed, as had the cobwebs over the doorway.

_ Someone had been inside. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all enjoyed this as much as i did-  
> And I'm so sorry for this cliff-hanger ending, it is merely to open it up for a sequel that I have already begun formulating some ideas for. However, I do not know how long it will take me to formulate the base plan for the sequel so you’re gonna have to be patient with me ^^  
> But this is the end of ‘Quackity’s heart died the day that Schlatt's did’  
> Thank you so much for reading and for all the kudos and support in the comments.  
> Love you all <3
> 
> Update: Sequel is out!


End file.
